What is stalking?

Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted behavior that invades a person’s life and sense of safety.

Stalking remains an issue that many people may have heard about from the media, but know very little about what actions actually constitute stalking, and how to respond in such a situation. Stalking behaviors often involve a desire for control over a victim, which is why it frequently follows a break-up or rejection. The psychological impact on victims can include intense fear, anxiety, and a sense of helplessness:

Stalking as a deeply harmful act, not just an inconvenience.

Myths about stalking

Stalking is often misunderstood, clouded by myths that downplay its severity and misrepresent its impact.

By challenging these misconceptions, we take a stand against the stigma and misinformation that can make victims feel isolated or helpless. Dispelling these myths isn’t just about raising awareness — it’s about creating a safer, more informed environment where victims feel validated and protected.

‘Stalking is only a problem for celebrities’
Many believe that only public figures face stalking, but in reality, everyday people are affected across all demographics and backgrounds. Kaspersky statistics show that stalking, specifically, stalkerware — one among different kinds of digital violence — impacts more than 30,000 people worldwide. Most often, these victims are ordinary individuals targeted by former partners or acquaintances.
‘If there’s no physical threat, it’s not stalking’
Stalking doesn’t always involve physical harm; even «just» persistent communication, surveillance, or social media monitoring constitutes stalking. The psychological effects of these behaviors can be profound, causing anxiety, fear, and disruption to daily life.
‘Stalking is just a harmless obsession’
Stalking is often trivialized as «harmless» or as «intense romantic interest,» but this view ignores the fact that stalking is rooted in control and can escalate into dangerous, even violent, situations. It’s a serious crime in many countries precisely because it infringes on personal safety and freedom.

What are stalking tactics?

Escalating behavior

Stalkers often escalate their actions when they feel they’re losing control: become more erratic, possessive, or threatening over time, especially after your attempts to distance yourself.

1. Unwanted communication
Persistent, intrusive contact through phone calls, text messages, emails, or social media.
What may start as admiration or affectionate behavior can quickly turn obsessive and manipulative: even if it only includes sending unwanted gifts to maintain a connection. Even after being asked to stop, stalkers may continue or increase their messaging to maintain a presence in the victim’s life.
2. Cyberstalking
Using digital means to track, harass, or intimidate.
Stalkers often create new identities to bypass blocks, making it crucial to monitor for repeated attempts. This also includes hacking accounts, using stalkerware tools, spreading false information online, or posting sensitive information.
3. Life invasion
Showing up uninvited at the victim’s home, workplace, or places they frequent, as well as contacting family, friends, or colleagues.
If someone shows up without being invited, especially after you’ve limited contact, this is a major red flag for stalking. Life invasion tactics disrupt daily routines and can lead to social isolation, as victims may limit their activities to avoid encountering the stalker.
4. Unwanted gifts or items
Sending unwanted items to the victim’s home or work address, or to friends of the victim, often under the guise of gifts or threats.
Stalkers may attempt to connect with their victims in various ways to exert control. This could include gifts that appear innocent or admiring, or items that suggest a connection. Alternatively, they may send objects symbolizing threats or violence to intimidate or coerce the victim.
5. Imitation
Attending events you’re interested in, pursuing hobbies or activities associated with you, or following idols or media known to be important to you.
Stalkers may gather information about the victim’s life and personality, collecting details on the media you enjoy, events you attend, or people you admire, and may try to form connections with them as well. At first glance, it may seem like they share similar interests, but this is often a disguised attempt to connect with or influence you.
6. Surveillance
Monitoring a victim’s activities, whether by following them physically, tracking their movements digitally (e.g., via GPS devices or apps), or watching them through cameras or social media.
Stalkers may go to great lengths to obtain personal information, often through indirect means. At the same time, surveillance is used to make victims feel that they are always being observed.
7. Intimidation
Direct threats of harm, destroying property, or even suggesting they know personal details about the victim’s life.
Stalkers may use threats, either explicit or implicit, to make their victims feel unsafe. Moreover, symbolic acts, such as leaving threatening objects or destroying sentimental items, can also be served as intimidation tactics. This type of threat isn’t always explicit but is intended to send a message, often making the victim feel unsafe in their own environment.
8. Manipulation of third parties
Impersonating the victim, convincing mutual contacts to relay information, or even posing as someone in need to get close to the victim.
Stalkers may involve others, either directly or indirectly, to gain information or exert pressure on the victim. It even may influence the victim’s job: it may include contacting their employer with false accusations, vandalizing property or personal items, or sabotaging work performance.

Practical checklists

The following two checklists are designed to address both practical and digital aspects of safety, offering a comprehensive approach to managing risk and enhancing awareness.

The first checklist focuses on anti-stalking awareness. It includes a safety planning guide, a record-keeping table for documenting incidents, and practical advice for family and friends supporting a loved one affected by stalking.

The second checklist is dedicated to digital security. It provides guidance on safeguarding personal information online, strengthening privacy settings, and reducing digital vulnerabilities that stalkers may exploit.

Together, these checklists offer a holistic approach, helping individuals protect both their physical and digital lives with confidence and resilience.

Download Anti-stalking awareness guide Download Digital Security Guide

After exploring what constitutes stalking and providing actionable checklists, it’s essential to recognize that these tools serve as a starting point, not only for safeguarding oneself but for reclaiming a sense of power and control. Yet, the journey of confronting stalking goes beyond guidelines and checklists. It also lies in understanding the emotional impact and building a support network that uplifts and believes survivors. Empowerment means recognizing the unique strength it takes to address stalking, to protect one’s own well-being, and to refuse to let fear dictate one’s life.

To illustrate this, we share the personal journeys of two women, Acacia and Yulia, who have courageously navigated their experiences with stalking. If you or someone you know is facing stalking, let these stories be a reminder that you are not alone, and that strength lies in reaching out, speaking up, and standing together. The experiences of Acacia and Yulia show that while stalking may seek to silence and isolate, there is a powerful community of survivors and allies who believe in reclaiming safety, dignity, and freedom. By sharing their stories, we aim to empower every individual affected by stalking to find their voice, connect with others, and take back control. Together, we can break the silence, challenge fear, and rebuild a sense of security and resilience.

Acacia Diana’s story: rising above an eight-year stalking nightmare

My name is Acacia Diana, and I’m a photographer from Malaysia who has dedicated my career to capturing culture and destinations through the lens. I’ve worked with international brands, exhibited my art in places like Amsterdam, London, and Kuala Lumpur, and was appointed as a Canon EOS Master in 2023. But for the last eight years, my life was consumed by a different kind of battle — a fight to reclaim my life from a relentless stalker who followed me across continents.

It began when I was 23. At first, the man appeared to be an admirer, commenting on my blog posts and social media, complimenting my work. I didn’t think much of it — I was busy, and his comments seemed harmless. But soon, his messages became persistent and obsessive. He started contacting me on every platform — my work email, personal social media, even showing up at places I tagged online.

That’s when I realized something was very wrong.

Despite my efforts to block him, he created over 30 new social media accounts to continue contacting me. His messages became lewd and disturbing. He even sent me videos of himself engaging in sexual acts, using my photos. I was disgusted and terrified. I had no choice but to document everything and file a police report.

Honestly, looking back I do not know how I got through it. There were some really bad nights where I felt alone, harassed, frightened, trapped and so angry. I would scream and want to smash something. Talking to my close circle helped to ease and vent out some of the darker emotions. Crying helped me release it too.

My name is Acacia Diana, and I’m a photographer from Malaysia who has dedicated my career to capturing culture and destinations through the lens. I’ve worked with international brands, exhibited my art in places like Amsterdam, London, and Kuala Lumpur, and was appointed as a Canon EOS Master in 2023. But for the last eight years, my life was consumed by a different kind of battle — a fight to reclaim my life from a relentless stalker who followed me across continents.

It began when I was 23. At first, the man appeared to be an admirer, commenting on my blog posts and social media, complimenting my work. I didn’t think much of it — I was busy, and his comments seemed harmless. But soon, his messages became persistent and obsessive. He started contacting me on every platform — my work email, personal social media, even showing up at places I tagged online.

That’s when I realized something was very wrong.

Despite my efforts to block him, he created over 30 new social media accounts to continue contacting me. His messages became lewd and disturbing. He even sent me videos of himself engaging in sexual acts, using my photos. I was disgusted and terrified. I had no choice but to document everything and file a police report.

Honestly, looking back I do not know how I got through it. There were some really bad nights where I felt alone, harassed, frightened, trapped and so angry. I would scream and want to smash something. Talking to my close circle helped to ease and vent out some of the darker emotions. Crying helped me release it too.

In 2022, I moved to the UK, hoping to escape him and start afresh. But he followed me there too. He tracked me down, even signing up for a photography class I had once attended and leaving a note for me. It was clear he was watching me, tracking me. I couldn’t walk freely anymore — I hid behind face masks and hoodies, afraid he would recognize me on the streets of London. My new life had become a prison.

The breaking point came when he appeared at an event I was photographing in London. He stared at me like he had finally found his prize. The moment he appeared, I knew I had to act.

One friend encouraged me to file a police report in the UK. Thankfully, the laws in the UK were more advanced, and they took my case seriously — something I didn’t know because I didn’t have the capacity to research it on my own, as I was feeling so hopeless. I called the police, and they arrested him.

For a brief moment, I felt relief, but it didn’t last long. He was released on bail and fled back to Malaysia, avoiding his court date in the UK. He continued to harass me from afar, sending lewd messages and photos, completely disregarding the bail conditions that forbade him from contacting me. A few months afterwards, I had to return to Malaysia for a photography project. I finally realised that Malaysia had passed the Anti-Stalking Law and gathered my strength to report this crime while I was back in my home country.

from afar, sending lewd messages and photos, completely disregarding the bail conditions that forbade him from contacting me. A few months afterwards, I had to return to Malaysia for a photography project. I finally realised that Malaysia had passed the Anti-Stalking Law and gathered my strength to report this crime while I was back in my home country.

In 2023, he became the first person charged under Malaysia’s new anti-stalking law.

This law criminalizes stalking as repeated acts of harassment that are intended to, or likely to, cause fear or distress to a person’s safety. The law was a critical step forward for Malaysia, which had previously lacked specific legislation addressing stalking. Under this law, those convicted of stalking can face up to three years in prison, a fine, or both.

That’s why it is important to take the following steps:

  • Keep screenshots, no matter how painful or triggering they may be, as they could later be valuable later in a court of law.
  • Familiarize yourself with the laws that apply to your situation. If you’re unsure, consult a lawyer or a legal expert who can guide you through the complexities of the crime you’re facing and help you understand your rights and legal options. This will give you a clearer sense of the steps you can take and the protections available to you.
  • In tandem with all this, I also reached out to known friends or family members of the stalker to explain my experience to them, so that they were informed and could also be held accountable.

When the charges were filed, I felt a sense of relief. I thought justice was finally catching up. However, the case took an unexpected turn. The court ruled that he was of unsound mind and acquitted him under an insanity plea. Instead of a prison sentence, he was sent to a psychiatric hospital in Malaysia, where he is being held indefinitely. His delusions, especially regarding a non-existent relationship with me, played a central role in the court’s ruling.

While I was granted a protection order — the first of its kind under the new law — the fact that he wasn’t jailed has left me with mixed emotions. I understand the court’s decision, but the uncertainty of his release hangs over me. Still, I know the authorities are monitoring the situation closely, and if he ever attempts to contact me again, they have the power to act immediately.

When I was going through my ordeal, many of my friends provided emotional support and reassurance. My close friend accompanied me on most of my daily tasks and was present when the stalker confronted me at a work event. I also had friends who came to my house when I was terrified, brought me home when I was in distress, and stayed by my side to ensure I felt safe.

It’s hard to express just how crucial their presence was. If I had to summarize what a friend’s role should be, it would be this: simply being there. But if I were to offer more detailed advice, it would include listening without judgment, providing comfort and reassurance, regularly checking in, accompanying the victim when they feel unsafe, and helping them find professional help such as therapists or legal advisors. Friends can also help by blocking and reporting harassing accounts, and ensuring that the victims are well cared for.

If I had to give advice for those going through a similar situation, it is to be in charge of your mental capacity and emotions. Find a way to focus on your life so that you know it’s not defined by a stalker who is intent to mess it up. Perform activities that give you happiness in the meantime and if you can, do not share them publicly for them to be marred by the hater during a «hot» period (if the stalker is actively engaging and looking for you). I hate that my advice might include asking someone to hide parts of themselves instead of freely expressing and posting, but sometimes, you have to take temporary steps for safety.

This ordeal has not been easy. For years, it felt like I was constantly living in fear, my life dictated by someone else’s delusions. But I refuse to let this define me. If anything, it has strengthened my resolve to take back control. Throughout this journey, I’ve learned the importance of trusting my instincts, heeding early signs, and reaching out for support. No one should have to endure this alone, and it’s crucial to know your rights, document everything, and seek help immediately.

Stalking isn’t just an inconvenience — it’s a crime that can impact every aspect of your life. But you can fight back. If you’re facing a similar situation, know that you are not powerless. The laws are there to protect you, and there are people who will stand by you. I am sharing my story to remind others that even in the darkest moments, you can rise above.

journey, I’ve learned the importance of trusting my instincts, heeding early signs, and reaching out for support. No one should have to endure this alone, and it’s crucial to know your rights, document everything, and seek help immediately.

Stalking isn’t just an inconvenience — it’s a crime that can impact every aspect of your life. But you can fight back. If you’re facing a similar situation, know that you are not powerless. The laws are there to protect you, and there are people who will stand by you. I am sharing my story to remind others that even in the darkest moments, you can rise above.

You have the power to reclaim your life, and no one should have to live in fear.

Yulia’s story: A journey of resilience

My name is Yulia Pavlova, and I lead partner relations at the Syndrome of Love Foundation, a charity supporting people with Down syndrome. But today, I’m here to share a different part of my life — a story that reveals how the shadows of the past can linger, even when we believe we’ve left them behind. This is a story of how I faced years of relentless intrusion and control from someone I once trusted, and the path I’ve taken to reclaim my freedom and sense of self.

One time, I began living with a man who would become my husband. We were married for several years. Looking back, there were signs — even then — that something was off. He was constantly convinced he was being watched, kept weapons in the house «for protection,» and insisted I didn’t use social media. Back then, I thought these quirks were just echoes of the post-90s era and never saw them as red flags.

Seven years later, I realized I needed to leave. Our relationship had become strained, and I knew I had to move forward without him. We divorced, and I moved on, eventually entering a new relationship. But just a year later, he reappeared in my life, hacking into my email and leaving disturbing messages. I found video recordings of my new partner with someone else, hidden in my drafts folder. My ex had somehow filmed him outside the home, scaling trees or setting up cameras to capture it all. He told me, «You shouldn’t have used such a simple password.» His words and actions left me terrified — he wasn’t just invading my life; he was stalking anyone close to me.

The former partner warned me that if I didn’t come back to him, he’d hurt my new partner and even threatened his nephews. «This will be on your conscience,» he said. Broken from the divorce and betrayed by someone I trusted, I found myself in a downward spiral. My physical and emotional health deteriorated until one day, I was rushed to the hospital, barely able to function. In my vulnerable state, I made the mistake of reaching out to my ex-husband, hoping for some support, not realizing that this decision would give him a way back into my life. The months that followed

My name is Yulia Pavlova, and I lead partner relations at the Syndrome of Love Foundation, a charity supporting people with Down syndrome. But today, I’m here to share a different part of my life — a story that reveals how the shadows of the past can linger, even when we believe we’ve left them behind. This is a story of how I faced years of relentless intrusion and control from someone I once trusted, and the path I’ve taken to reclaim my freedom and sense of self.

One time, I began living with a man who would become my husband. We were married for several years. Looking back, there were signs — even then — that something was off. He was constantly convinced he was being watched, kept weapons in the house «for protection,» and insisted I didn’t use social media. Back then, I thought these quirks were just echoes of the post-90s era and never saw them as red flags.

Seven years later, I realized I needed to leave. Our relationship had become strained, and I knew I had to move forward without him. We divorced, and I moved on, eventually entering a new relationship. But just a year later, he reappeared in my life, hacking into my email and leaving disturbing messages. I found video recordings of my new partner with someone else, hidden in my drafts folder. My ex had somehow filmed him outside the home, scaling trees or setting up cameras to capture it all. He told me, «You shouldn’t have used such a simple password.» His words and actions left me terrified — he wasn’t just invading my life; he was stalking anyone close to me.

The former partner warned me that if I didn’t come back to him, he’d hurt my new partner and even threatened his nephews. «This will be on your conscience,» he said. Broken from the divorce and betrayed by someone I trusted, I found myself in a downward spiral. My physical and emotional health deteriorated until one day, I was rushed to the hospital, barely able to function. In my vulnerable state, I made the mistake of reaching out to my ex-husband, hoping for some support, not realizing that this decision would give him a way back into my life. The months that followed felt like a blur — a confusing mix of renewed hope and red flags I tried to ignore. Looking back, I see now that my exhaustion clouded my judgment. Eventually, we had a daughter, and I wanted to believe we could build a stable life. But it quickly became clear that control, not love, was at the core of his intentions.

felt like a blur — a confusing mix of renewed hope and red flags I tried to ignore. Looking back, I see now that my exhaustion clouded my judgment. Eventually, we had a daughter, and I wanted to believe we could build a stable life. But it quickly became clear that control, not love, was at the core of his intentions.

The peaceful period didn’t last. Within months, the surveillance turned on me. He had access to everything: my phone, email, and any accounts. I started to suspect he’d installed stalkerware on my phone, tracking my every move and message.

He built this picture of complete control, creating an environment where I felt trapped.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to escape. One day, while he was asleep, I grabbed what little we could, picked up my daughter from school, and ran. He tracked my phone by GPS, found my car, and took it. I called the police, but they shrugged it off — he still had a spare key, and since he was listed on the insurance, they couldn’t treat it as theft and saw no crime. Even when he installed cameras outside my building, nothing changed. Even though I reported multiple incidents, the police kept saying it was a «personal matter» between ex-spouses.

We eventually moved south, hoping to start fresh, but he still found ways to invade my life. On my birthday, he edited explicit videos with scenes from adult sites, inserting clips of me from old home recordings, and sent it from my phone to everyone in my contact list — friends, colleagues, family, and business partners. I was horrified, humiliated, but when I went to the police, nothing was done.

Despite changing phones, I kept my Gmail account, which may have been how he continued accessing my data. I finally set up a new email, and memories of his surveillance obsession resurfaced — how he’d tracked those he felt wronged him. I remember, his computer was filled with folders on people’s movements. He bragged about wiretapping former colleagues and girlfriends. His entire life revolved around digging into others’ private lives to control or hurt them.

Living in constant fear was exhausting: any attempt to seek help felt dangerous, as I knew he’d turn his wrath on anyone who tried to assist me. But every time he showed up, I had to find a way to keep going. Three years have passed since I left him, and I still catch glimpses of him nearby. Occasionally, I see him parked nearby, staring. He attempts to reset my passwords, but digital security has improved, making it harder for him. He even sends me messages through bank transfers, sometimes with money, sometimes with ominous threats.

The most terrifying moment came when I discovered a new account in my name in my banking app — an account I hadn’t opened. When I called the bank, they told me that my ex-husband had created the account, bringing copies of my documents and a «power of attorney.» I was in shock and asked them to close the account immediately. They refused, saying they couldn’t do so because he had opened it, not me. They didn’t understand my reaction: «Why close it? It’s just a bank card; you’ll simply be able to receive money.»

immediately. They refused, saying they couldn’t do so because he had opened it, not me. They didn’t understand my reaction: «Why close it? It’s just a bank card; you’ll simply be able to receive money.»

This was yet another way he tried to show his power over me — to say, «I’m close. I can reach you, even like this.»

I was furious. If they knew what he’d put me through, they wouldn’t be so dismissive. What if he used this account for illegal activities and the money landed there? I could end up facing legal charges for something I knew nothing about. I yelled, warning that if they didn’t close the account right away, I’d take them to court. I wouldn’t let this be another tool for his intimidation. Only then did they finally act.

It took years to reclaim my sense of self and freedom, but with time, I found my strength again. I learned that fear only has power when we let it control us. Through counseling, the support of loved ones, and my work at the Syndrome of Love Foundation, I began to rebuild. Finally, I stood up to him and told him I was no longer afraid. I approached the police once more, and with the backing of a psychiatric institution, he was ordered into treatment. I don’t know what the future holds, but I am prepared to face it head-on.

Sharing my story is my way of saying: if you are in the shadows, you are not alone. Silence gives power to those who seek control, but courage — our courage — can break that power. No matter how many times they try to break us, we can rebuild, stronger each time.

afraid. I approached the police once more, and with the backing of a psychiatric institution, he was ordered into treatment. I don’t know what the future holds, but I am prepared to face it head-on.

Sharing my story is my way of saying: if you are in the shadows, you are not alone. Silence gives power to those who seek control, but courage — our courage — can break that power. No matter how many times they try to break us, we can rebuild, stronger each time.